Dear 1 Craig,Oh dear. You’re in a pile of reindeer droppings, my friend.
Yes, I know what you did. You 2 went hunting instead of visiting your parents like you told Crystal you would. Come on, 1 Craig. I thought you’d grown up and out of this kind of trouble. But I guess not. Remember that incident when you were nine years old? Well, this was worse, my friend.
You’ve made the Naughty List.
Now, you need to find a way back on to the Nice List before Christmas, and here’s what you can do: 3 Buy Crystal a diamond ring for Christmas.
It’s the only way, 1 Craig. There’s still time to redeem yourself, and to avoid waking up to a lump of coal on Christmas morning that you need to explain to everyone. I’ve been known to occasionally leave an explanatory note as to why that’s all you’re getting. You don’t want to risk that, now do you? Could be embarrassing. Worse than that time in junior high; you know the incident I’m talking about.
I believe in you, 1 Craig. Do the right thing, and let’s get you back on my Nice List!
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