Dear 1 Jacob
I got your Christmas list today! And I’m happy to report that you are on the Nice List. Your letter has been handed off to one of my head elves, Pointed Green Top. (Yes, thats’ his name. Don’t laugh, or I’ll have to slide you over to the Naughty List. Ok, not really. I giggled at his name for about three decades myself.)
Already I can see your name on my Nice List board, and your list including the 2 Lego Xbox game, and underwear that you requested.
Wait--did you really request underwear?! Oh, no you didn’t. You actually wanted a 3 blue Razor scooter. Good thing I check my lists twice, right?
Make sure you keep being good and kind until Christmas, or your name will have to go over to elf in charge of the Naughty List: Grumpy Dump Louis. (Now, now—don’t even think of laughing at his name, because somehow he always knows. It took me four decades to quit giggling at his name, and boy— did he leave me a LOT of coal.)
Have a wonderful season, 1 Jacob, and I’ll be by Dec. 24th!